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Brief History and Background
According to the latest figures
from the Center for Disease Control in Atlanta, 31 million Americans
are infected with the Herpes Simplex Virus, and 500,000 more Americans
contract the virus each year. The Herpes Resource Center in Research
Triangle Park, North Carolina estimates that 20% of Americans have genital
herpes, and that up to 80% have some form of herpes, either oral or
genital (although many are probably unaware that they have the virus).
When these figures are applied to the New York area, it is estimated
that 1.5 million New Yorkers have genital herpes.
Coping with the physical
and emotional aspects of the disease can be difficult, even for those
who have been dealing with herpes for several years. The initial shock
of a herpes diagnosis can be traumatic, especially for people who have
no one to talk to. We are often confused by mixed messages from the
media and from our culture (from "herpes is no big deal, get over
it!" to feeling like a social leper in the "disease-free"
dating scene) -- it's no wonder that many people are too ashamed to
reach out and seek help. For information and advice, or just a sympathetic
ear and a shoulder to cry on, HRA is the place to turn for both the
newly diagnosed and the "veterans" of many years.
H.R.A. meetings incorporate
the basic format of other 12-step groups such as Alcoholics Anonymous,
but with an added emphasis on medical information and question-and-answer
sessions as well as emotional support. In addition, H.R.A. organizes
social events throughout the year. In past years, we have held picnics,
a dance, a loft party, and get-togethers at area bars and restaurants.
From 1994 to 1996, H.R.A.
meetings were held at a church on Manhattan's Upper West Side. Due to
financial reasons, H.R.A. was forced to discontinue meetings at that
location. H.R.A. found a new home at Cabrini Medical Center in the summer
of 1997.
About H.R.A.
Herpes Recovery Anonymous
is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength
and hope with each other so that they may solve their common problems
and help others to recover from herpes. The only requirement for membership
is a desire to recover. There are no dues or fees for H.R.A. membership;
we are self-supporting through our own contributions. H.R.A. is not
allied with any sect, denomination, political group, organization or
institution; does not wish to engage in any controversy; and neither
endorses nor opposes any causes. Our primary purpose is to recover from
herpes and help others to achieve recovery. (With permission of A.A.
Grapevine)
Who We
Are
Founded on the Twelve Steps
and Twelve Traditions of Alcoholics Anonymous, we are a group of recovering
men and women who have the herpes virus. When first diagnosed with this
disease, many of us were devastated and filled with shame. Some of us
became self-destructive, acting out with alcohol, drugs, food, money
or sex(some even thought of suicide as an alternative to living with
an incurable and (they thought) shameful disease like herpes. Others
became angry and vengeful, seeking to hurt those who may have infected
them, or giving the disease to unsuspecting partners. "Who would
ever want me?" we thought. "Herpes is ruining my life!"
we said to ourselves. Some of us became depressed and withdrew from
relationships. Herpes became the scapegoat for all our failures in life:
lack of relationships, job problems, marriage difficulties, poor self-esteem,
weight problems, depression... Whether we admitted it or not, our lives
had become unmanageable. At this point, we were ready to take the First
Step: "We admitted we were powerless over herpes and our lives
had become unmanageable." Now, through the process of recovery
in the Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of H.R.A., we are leading
lives we never dreamed possible, grateful for the personal growth that
came with herpes.
The Twelve
Steps of H.R.A.
(The
Twelve steps are reprinted and adapted with permission of Alcoholics
Anonymous World Services, Inc. Permission to reprint and adapt this
material is affiliated with this program. A.A. is a program of recovery
from alcoholism only, and is not affiliated with the programs patterned
after A.A.)
1. We admitted we were powerless over herpes, and that our lives had
become unmanageable.
2. Came to believe that a power greater than ourselves could restore
us to sanity.
3. Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of
a higher power as we understood it.
4. Made a searching and fearless inventory of ourselves.
5. Admitted to our higher power, to ourselves and to another human being
the exact nature of our wrongs.
6. Were entirely ready to have our higher power remove all these defects
of character.
7. Humbly asked our higher power to remove all our shortcomings.
8. Made a list of all people we had harmed and became willing to make
amends to them all.
9. Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when
to do so would injure them or others.
10. Continued to take personal inventory, and, when we were wrong, promptly
admitted it.
11. Sought through prayer or meditation to improve our conscious contact
with our higher power.
12. Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of these steps, we
tried to carry this message to others with herpes, and to practice these
principles in all our affairs.
Disclaimer
H.R.A. is not a dating service
or a place to pick up sex partners. It is an anonymous fellowship run
by its members with a focus on personal growth and recovery from the
physical and emotional problems associated with having the herpes virus.
There are no dues or fees for membership. H.R.A. is not affiliated with
any other 12 step recovery program, business or corporation. We "pass
the hat" at meetings to pay for the room, voice mail, website maintenance,
literature, and other expenses.
Serenity
Prayer
"God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things
I can, and the wisdom to know the difference."
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